About allies

Rainbow Pride flag
Image: iStock


I thought what an ally was was common knowledge. Maybe it’s only within sections of the LGBTQ+ community.

Apparently, not everyone does, according to what I heard last night on 2GB.

According to Human Rights Campaign, an ally is:

… someone who is supportive of LGBT people. It encompasses non – LGBT allies as well as those within the LGBT community who support each other.

So, that’s it. An ally is someone who is supportive of LGBTQ+ people. Pretty simple. Allies are crucial to the LGBTQ+ community and it’d be great if we could all support each other: cis – gender people standing up for trans people, etc.


When you have a habit of catastrophising and always thinking the worse, having people I can be myself around is really important. It’s crucial really. I think we owe a debt to those who supported us during the same – sex marriage debate last year. We’re also going to need them to make sure rights of LGBTQ+, particularly anti – discrimination protections, are not watered down.

At least six out of the seven million who voted in favour of same – sex marriage last year would have been straight. That’s over six million people who think that LGBTQ+ people should be free to love and have that love recognised like straight couples under Australian law. This is huge.

There were media personalities who were great allies during the campaign. These included Mamamia founder, Mia Freedman and the panel on The Project. No, they aren’t perfect, (the Margaret Court “interview” was a train wreck, in my opinion and what Freedman said about Josh Manuatu on Twitter in 2016 was uncalled for). But they lent their voices to support members of the LGBTQ+ community who were calling for change to marriage laws to include LGBTQ+ people (now sex nor gender is a determining factor of who can get married in the law). Paul Murray from Sky’s Paul Murray Live was also a great ally. He consistently (more than others in the media, I’ve got to say), called out extremists in the “No” campaign, as well as calling out those on the “Yes” side.

These people, including some in my personal life, made the campaign a tiny bit more bearable.

Allies were also great before the same – sex marriage debate took full swing. Family and friends I’ve come out to have been awesome. One of them was really, really sweet. It was great to know that our relationship wouldn’t be affected negatively in any way. It’s great to know you’re unconditionally loved by them. It’s also great that most of these people are open about their support.

That’s what I’d say to allies. If you support the LGBTQ+ community, if you can, please be open about it. Let LGBTQ+ people in your life know that they are safe to be themselves around you. We’re not mind readers. For those who are, I love you.

What does ally mean to you? What do you want any allies to know? Leave your thoughts below in the comments. 




After the revelation about Barnaby Joyce, stop being hypocritical about the LGBTQ+ community

It’s been revealed that Deputy Prime Minister and Nationals Leader, Barnaby Joyce has fathered a child that was born from an affair.

Now, I’ve agonised about whether I should write this because I do kind of agree that it’s a private matter and his family shouldn’t be dragged through the mud so publicly.

Having said that, to be honest, I was and am pissed off about this. Joyce was a vocal opponent of same – sex marriage last year. He did end up abstaining when everything hit the fan, but that’s beside the point.

While the final result was a win for the LGBTQ+ community, the same – sex marriage debate was taxing. It did open many LGBTQ+ people up to threats of violence and online abuse, not to mention flashbacks to past abuse and feelings of self – hatred, fear and low self – esteeem. All because of the so – called ‘sanctity of marriage’.

Look, I never, EVER want to hear or read the terms ‘sanctity of marriage’ ever again! For too long it’s given people a licence to treat LGBTQ+ people like dirt. It was a shield for people who didn’t have the guts to admit that they opposed LGBTQ+ people entirely or saw themselves as morally superior because they’re straight.

Well, enough!

No LGBTQ+ are not a harm to children! You know what has proven to negatively affect children? Divorce.

Split wedding cake signifying divorce
Image: iStock

According to the Australian Institute of Family Studies, many children can be negatively affected by divorce, including in the long – term. Children of divorce run the the risk of having a lower education level and are more at risk of becoming sexually active at a younger age. They also run the risk of living in poverty if the main custody is granted to the mother.

It should be noted that the AIFS also says how it affects the children and their ability to be resilient, largely depending on how the separation is carried out by the parents (conflict exposure, etc).

A study by a reputable source has proven that divorce can put children at risk. No reputable studies, however, has proven that LGBTQ+ people, including same – sex parents has the same or similar negative effects. (The so – called ‘studies’ that did ‘prove’ that children of same – sex parents were worse off all fell apart when peer reviewed).

This is what I was reluctant to write. I know that some relationships are toxic and sometimes a separation or divorce is the healthiest choice for everyone involved. While i think we should talk about the impact of divorce and family separation  more, I don’t want to demonise single parents or those who have recently separated. So please, if you’re a single parent, please don’t take this post as a condemnation.

For those who repeatedly moralise against the LGBTQ+ community, argued against same – sex marriage because of the ‘sanctity of marriage’, you are my target. At least be honest that you think LGBTQ+ people are somehow inferior morally or otherwise to straight people. At least be honest that you don’t or didn’t think that they should be offered the same legal protections that you and millions of others have taken for granted most (if not all) your adulthood.


No more hypocrisy. No more using children as pawns. in this war that you chose to wage against the LGBTQ+ community last year. On the plus side, many people didn’t buy it. That children would be harmed or that Stalin would rise from the dead!

Reflections on this year and visions for the next

Sorry for the sporadic posts. Been busy lately.

2017 is quickly coming to a close. Christmas is just around the corner.

I love the Christmas/ New Year period (although, I’m starting to think maybe New Year’s is a wee little bit overrated, more on that another time).

This year has seen a lot happening both nationally and personally. This year has seen me grow as an individual. It has seen me develop skills, both personal and professional. I’ve loved the course I’ve been doing; Certificate IV in Professional Writing and Editing. My main aim next year is to get it done!

This year has also been tumultuous. I still can’t believe how hard the same – sex marriage debate hit me, even after the result was announced. It’s been emotionally draining. It brought back feelings that I though I had left behind years ago: sadness, feeling of not being good enough and the paranoia (not clinical), that people won’t accept me for who I am. I think it’ll take time to heal. That’s going to be another of my goals next year; to get to a space where I’m happy and not worry so much.

I also need to learn not to worry about timelines so much. Things will happen as they are mean to, when they are meant to. I’ve been so worried about getting things done before the age of thirty.


I’ve just got myself a journal. My aim is to write (hopefully) daily affirmations. Hopefully this will change my mindset. Maybe 2018 could be a year for a real overall health kick. Sounds good, eh? Let’s see how it goes, how many temptations I have and how many I give in to (fried food, etc)!

But seriously, this year, while good, has also frankly shown me how fragile health —especially mental health — can be. We all have emotional limits to how much we can cope with. I think there should have been more times when I switched off, especially from social and mainstream media. At least I know now.

Word Swag display: Daily affirmations


Now, here’s to the upcoming Christmas, enjoying the rest of this year. Then bring on 2018!!!


What are your goals/ plans for 2018?


Australians say ‘Yes’


Australians have spoken! 61.6% of people who took part in the Australian Marriage Law Survey (79.5% of eligible voters) has said ‘Yes’, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.


The ‘Yes’ vote won in all states and territories. 133 out of 150 Federal Electoral Divisions had a majority ‘Yes’ vote. So, no matter how the ABS calculated the result, (by state, electorate, or overall, the result would see the ‘Yes’ vote win.

Has the battle finished for LGBTQ+ people? Not yet. Now the type of legislatin will have to be debated. Although, I have a feeling that if the Coalition government pushed too hard for discrimination, etc, I think it would be political suicide (and that’s the last thing they need).


So, it’s up from here for the Aistralian LGBTQ+ community — I hope.

Here’s to love, unity,  healing that’s needed and love and respect between those who voted ‘Yes’ and ‘No’. To ‘Yes’ voters and members of the LGBTQ+ community that have been affected by this, use this opportunity to express gratitude and, if possible, build bridges. The biggest argument for same – sex marriage is love. Please don’t use  this as a reason for war. Let’s help healing, not hurt.

And for those who wished fpr this… PARTY!!!

A big call out to LGBTQ+ supporters


In the eve of the same – sex marriage postal survey announcement, I want to give a shout out to all those who stood by and advocated on behalf of many LGBTQ+ Australians.

Thank you to those who have actively campaigned for LGBTQ+ rights: written to politicians; called them; and used your voice in the survey.

Thank you to the counsellors/ psychologists who dedicated much of the last few months listening to and supporting LGBTQ+ people who were distressed.

Thank you to those who comforted LGBTQ+ friends and family. It hasn’t been an easy process, (in fact, at times for many, it’s been downright hard!). Thank you to those who have offered a shoulder to cry on when needed.

Thank you to the religious leaders who have called for compassion toward the LGBTQ+ community and have aimed to build bridges between, what have been warring factions. Thank you to those who joined campaigns like Equal Voices, and called for healing and reconciliation between the Church and the LGBTQ+ community.

Thank you to older LGBTQ+ people. like Anthony. Venn – Brown and Magda Szubanski, who have offered their advice and advocacy to younger LGBTQ+ people. Also, thank you to other LGBTQ+ people who have been willing to be open about their own struggles, but pushing forward and fighting for what you want. You have been so brave and strong!

Finally, I’d like to thank media personalities for standing by us. Thanks to Mamamia founder Mia Freedman and other staff for being an endless advocate for LGBTQ+ people. Thank you for giving LGBTQ+ people and their families a voice. You don’t know how much that means to us.

Thank you to Sky News’ Paul Murray and Patricia Karvelas for also being outspoken supporters for same – sex marriage. Thank you also, for being, sadly the few, who have consistently called out and condemned abuses from both sides of the debate.

Who would you like to thank for supporting you or the LGBTQ+ community more broadly during this debate?

Another shooting: 26 people murdered at church in Sutherland Springs, Texas

Yet, another gun massacre in the United States.

At least 26 people have been murdered in Sutherland Springs Baptist Church, southeast of San Antonio, Texas.

The gunman has been named and has been confirmed to be dead (I won’t write the perpetrator’s name here. The scum doesn’t deserve it).

This comes two years after a white supremacist targeted Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina. Nine people died.


So, is anything going to change? I doubt it. That’s what is so frustrating. These senseless shootings keep on happening. Why can’t things change? How about banning semin- automatic weapons or something? Demand that the National Rifle Association (the leaders at least), allow proper checks (criminal and medical), nationwide!

I’m probably being naive, but the number of gun massacres in the U.S. is becoming beyond a joke. Surely something has to change!

To the thugs who attacked Tony Abbott and have committed violence and intimidation

Tony Abbott has been physically assaulted in Hobart. He was head butted by an alleged ”Yes’ supporter.

To those who commit this crap, I have a few words for you.

You are a disgrace.  Don’t DARE say you speak for me or any LGBTQ+ people that I know and love. You are NOT doing ANYTHING good for the cause. Rack off!!! Don’t display a ‘Yes’ t – shirt or anything because you don’t care for the cause. YOU are the reason why the ‘Yes’ campaign may very well lose!

So, forget the banners, T – shirts, merchandise, etc and rack off. We do not need you!!!